Having a Threesome: is it a good idea?

One in four people dream of having a threesome. It is called threesome, menage a trois or even, three-way sex. Whatever name is given to him, it is the most frequently cited sexual fantasy. According to the statistics of the Durex Global Sex study, recently released, 24% of Swiss men and women dream of finding themselves in a duvet with two partners at the same time. And they are not the only ones: 25% of South Americans, 20% of North Americans and 18% of Asians share this desire. You said universal?

If this fantasy is widespread – especially among men, twice as numerous as women dream – concretely, few dare to take the plunge. Or dare to verbalize this desire. In 2004, a survey of the ABC TV channel revealed that 14% of Americans had made love to three. The French survey institute Ifop in turn looked into the matter in 2010. Result: 10% of men and 5% of women said they had tried the adventure. It is that reality and fantasy do not always get along well. “Sharing your partner is exciting in the imagination, but when we act, the result is rarely convincing, confirms our sexologist Juliette Buffat. In practice, women very quickly feel like a sex object and find it devaluing. ”

Driven by curiosity, Betty, 37, agreed a few years ago to follow a couple at home. “I had never made love to three, so I let myself go,” she recalls. But when the woman and I started to kiss each other, I suddenly realized that I did not want that, and asked them to stop. I did not want to be the toy of this couple who had sex only with the intervention of a third person. ”

Others keep an amused memory in this trio. This is the case of Lydia, who tried the “threesome” at the age of 19. She speaks of it as a “carnal parenthesis” all the more pleasing that it was not premeditated. “It was with a friend and a boy met in a disco. One night, we took him back to my friend’s house, at the very beginning, in all honor. Then she and I looked at each other and we had the same idea at the same time. We tipped the boy on the bed. It was completely improvised and that’s probably why it happened. In the heat of the moment, we were not really ourselves. But I would not try to do the same thing with the man I love: I can not bear to see him sleep with another girl. ”

To make love to three can make it possible to concretize a desire of infidelity in an acceptable frame since in the presence and with the agreement of his companion or his companion. “Some people find it exciting to have their partner make love to someone else, but they are rare,” says Juliette Buffat. For most couples, the implementation of this fantasy can be dangerous because it is difficult to dissociate sexuality from the emotional. As patients who want to act, I advise to think before and debrief after. “The love of three is not always fun to live, but it is good to dream.

“We all fantasize about other people than our partner,” concludes the sexologist. It nourishes our imagination and maintains the excitement. Why deprive ourselves, if it makes us feel good and inspires us? “

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